and you, you need to be nicer
by franklymydeer
Summary: Post-"Deep Throat" - Niles is forced to care for a drunk C.C. Clearly, fate enjoys watching him suffer.


**Title:** and you, you need to be nicer

**Pairing:** Niles/C.C.

**Word Count:** 1081

**Summary:** Niles is forced to care for a drunk C.C. Clearly, fate enjoys watching him suffer.

**A/N:** For dollsome, who requested a Niles/C.C. fic ages ago. Set after episode 1.15 "Deep Throat", where Fran has her tonsils removed. Maxwell is supposed to be C.C.'s date to her sorority reunion, but is distracted by Fran's surgery and doesn't show up until after everyone else is gone and C.C. is thoroughly sloshed. There - you're up to speed.

**and you, you need to be nicer**

Niles is enjoying a rare quiet evening at home with a snifter of Mr. Sheffield's best brandy when the front door opens.

Swiftly draining his glass, he leaps up to greet his boss. "Sir, did you have a good time at the- oh, good Lord," he says, taking in the sight of one very intoxicated C.C. Babcock clinging to Mr. Sheffield's jacket.

"Maxwell, you devil!" Miss Babcock giggles. "Are you planning on taking advantage of me?"

"Of course not, C.C.," Mr. Sheffield says soothingly, not seeming to notice how her face falls at the words. "It seems that while she was waiting for me, C.C. had a bit too much to drink," he tells Niles.

"So you brought her here, sir?"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" he cries helplessly. "I couldn't very well let her go home like this!"

"Oh, why not? She would have found her way eventually."

Mr. Sheffield frowns. "Niles."

"Sorry, sir," Niles says, attempting to appear contrite.

"I feel just terrible," his boss continues. "I was so preoccupied with Miss Fine that I lost track of time, and by the time I got to the reunion everyone was gone and C.C. was... well - " he gestures.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it, sir," says Niles. "I expect she's used to drinking alone."

"Yes, well - be that as it may, I think perhaps she ought to stay here tonight. Would you make up the guest bedroom for her?"

Niles bites back a heavy sigh. "I'll take care of it, sir," he says, cursing his luck.

"And no short-sheeting the bed," Mr. Sheffield says sternly, while attempting to pry Miss Babcock's hands off his lapels.

Niles looks offended. "Oh, sir, how juvenile do you think I am?" (_Damn_, he thinks, mentally crossing the idea off his list.)

Mr. Sheffield finally succeeds in extracting himself from Miss Babcock's grip and makes a beeline for the stairs. Miss Babcock wobbles dangerously without his support, forcing Niles to step in and offer a reluctant hand. She doesn't seem to appreciate his gallantry- in fact, she tries to hit him with her purse.

"All right then," Mr. Sheffield says, watching the struggle from a safe distance. "I can see you've got the situation well in hand, Niles, so I'll just let you take it from here."

Niles is aghast. "What, you're not going to help me?"

Mr. Sheffield laughs uncomfortably. "Oh, no, old man. I trust you. Well, I'm off to bed," he says, trying to affect a casual tone and not quite managing it. (Niles wonders just what happened in the car to make him so skittish, but decides he really doesn't want to know.)

"But, sir!" Niles calls after him. "What is she going to wear to bed?"

Mr. Sheffield pauses briefly. "Oh, right. Well, I'm sure Miss Fine won't mind if C.C. borrows a set of her pajamas." He nods, "Right, then. Good night, you two," and continues up the stairs and out of sight.

Niles watches him make his escape enviously. He turns to the woman next to him, who is doing her best to give him the evil eye, though it's a bit less than effective given her inability to stay focused on one point for long.

"Well, Babcock," he says, "looks like it's you and me."

Miss Babcock makes a noise something like a growl.

"My sentiments exactly," he answers, as he takes her arm to help her up the stairs.

* * *

><p>Niles feels a bit like a pervert as he rummages through Miss Fine's drawer for something Miss Babcock can wear that won't give him nightmares for eternity. At last, he finds a pair of pajamas that are big and thick and shapeless- very un-Miss-Fine-like (perhaps they once belonged to her ex) - so he hands them to Miss Babcock and sends her off to the bathroom to change.<p>

He enjoys a few moments of silence while he's busy making up the guest bed before Miss Babcock emerges from the bathroom, pajama-clad and looking morose.

"Why does he do this to me, Niles?" she asks, coming in to sit on the side of the bed.

_Oh, goody, _Niles thinks to himself. _A tirade_. _Can this evening get any better?_

"He never used to treat me like this. It hasn't been the same," she scowls, "ever since _she_ showed up.

"She waltzes in, with her - her hair and her voice and her - her _miniskirts,_" she sneers, putting more disdain into the last word than Niles would have thought possible, "and it's like I don't exist anymore." She sighs. "I don't know why I bothered to ask him who was more important- me or her. It's obviously her. She's more important." She tries to laugh, and her voice cracks just a little. "She's even more important when she's uncon- unconsci- asleep.

"I try so hard," she continues, "and nothing I do ever seems to turn out right. And she - she does everything wrong - she's crass and common and still - " She looks down at her hands. "I just... I don't understand."

They are far outside of their comfort zone of insults and comebacks, but the sight of Miss Babcock on the verge of tears tugs at Niles, and he finds he can't just walk away. Instead, he sits down next to her on the bed and tries to think of something comforting.

"Mr. Sheffield cared enough about you to take you home with him," he says.

"He doesn't care _that _much-" she counters, "- he left me with _you_."

_Touch__é_, he thinks.

They sit together for a moment in surprisingly companionable silence, and then somehow she's resting her head on his shoulder. Niles knows he should pull away, but he doesn't. He doesn't really care to examine why.

"You know, Niles," C.C. says sleepily, "sometimes you're not such a bad guy."

"Ditto," he says, and she actually laughs.

He tucks her into bed (telling himself it's just force of habit and not brought on by anything resembling caring), and goes to turn out the light.

"Good night, Niles," she murmurs.

He feels inexplicably fond of her as he answers, "Good night, Miss Babcock."

* * *

><p>The next morning, C.C. wakes up to find a bottle of aspirin and a cup of coffee waiting at her bedside.<p>

(Of course, the coffee turns out to have salt in it instead of sugar, but she's still a little touched by the gesture.)

_fin_


End file.
